How Your Mental Health Impacts Your Marriage

Dear Courageous One,

Have you ever considered the impact your mental health has on your marriage? Most haven’t. In fact, many don’t realize that it’s the decline in one or both partner’s mental health that causes much of their marital challenges. 

And since we were brought up in a codependent culture, we look to our partner to pick up the pieces. But what if you both don’t have the strength or mental capacity to support one another? Then what? 

The blame, shame and guilt games begin. In our moments of fatigue, frustration will set in. Our loving lens from which we once glanced through is no longer present. A spiteful fog fills the air clouding any good judgment of hope and happiness. 

Are you someone who doesn’t recognize themselves in their relationship anymore? And what about your partner? 

I humbly admit that as a mental health professional, I too still struggle with mental health from time to time. And when I find myself the most irritable, highly sensitive, and easily agitated, it normally means that something is happening within me. 

And here’s where our awareness in our society is growing but many still don’t know… our mental health starts in our gut. Our physical health is connected to our mental health which is also connected to our relationship health. 

This is where I found my mental health has fallen to the wayside. It is in my physical health that I have been neglecting. I probably was told this but it didn’t hit home until it happened: your metabolism changes drastically at 30 and then again at 35. 

Over the past few years I have steadily gained weight in my body. As a spiritual and mental health practitioner, I held onto a very vicious belief: that if I were spiritual enough and mentally strong, my body would be fit and healthy too! Right? 

Wrong! Every aspect of health is important and when we neglect one or more pillars of health (physical, mental, spiritual and relational), it will impact the others. 

So as you enter into another weekend, I want you to ask yourself how is your health? In what ways would you love to get more active? Eat a little healthier? Sleep a little longer?

Give yourself permission to rest, recover, and revitalize your vessel. 

I have found a new place to exercise my body and build more muscle. And I’d love to hear what you are committing to doing this weekend and beyond to take care of your body, mind, and soul.

Until next time, keep questioning, keep challenging, and above all, keep loving fiercely.

Yours Truly,

Your Marriage Mindshift Coach

P.S. If you or anyone you know is struggling with their mental health and live in the US, you can call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: A 24/7 hotline by dialing 988.